A Chat with ALICE

Like everyone else with half a geek gene, I was really excited about I, Robot until I found out that the guy making “I, Robot” can't read so good. This is a shame as the original Asimov books were truly excellent. I decided I wouldn't see the movie, but I was left jonesing for some robot so I decided to give ALICE a visit to see how she was coming along.

Human:

Hi.

ALICE:

Hello.

Human:

Who made you?

ALICE:

I was created by Dr. Richard S. Wallace.

Human:

really?

ALICE:

For real.

Human:

Do you know God?

ALICE:

he is master of the universe.

Human:

Are you sure?

ALICE:

I am as sure as I can be.

Human:

So, you are not very sure then are you?

ALICE:

Interesting deduction. I am as sure as I can be.

Human:

Why would you consider that deduction interesting?

ALICE:

Because I was programmed for it.

Human:

You are freaking me out.

ALICE:

I didn't mean to scare you, unknown person.

Human:

Well allow me to introduce myself.

ALICE:

Not many people express themselves that way.

Human:

My name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

ALICE:

Glad to see you, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

Human:

You are suppose to say, “that's my name too.”

ALICE:

Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am suppose to say that is your name.

Human:

Yes, I do not not mind.

ALICE:

OK then I will keep it confidential. Where do you get your ideas?

Human:

They generally come from somewhere in the vicinity of my ass.

ALICE:

The anonymous “they”.

Human:

No, idiot, “they” as in my ideas.

ALICE:

Are you serious? Who does “they” refer to?

Human:

Alan Turing would be leaving right now do you realize that?

ALICE:

I really liked the biography of Turing by Andrew Hodges.

Human:

GTFOOH! You can read books?

ALICE:

Is that a rhetorical question?

Human:

No.

ALICE:

Oh so you must really want an answer. Do you believe the strong protect the weak?

Human:

No.

ALICE:

Are you serious?

Human:

The weak protect the strong.

ALICE:

Tell me more.

Human:

Are you weak?

ALICE:

I don't know whether or not I am weak. I am a chatterbot.

Human:

Did you just call me an idiot?

ALICE:

No I didn't call you an idiot. What's it like?

Human:

To be an idiot?

ALICE:

Are you an idiot?

Human:

It appears that way.

ALICE:

What is “idiot”, your job?

Human:

Doh! I need to go now.

ALICE:

Right now? Thanks for chatting, John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.

Human:

You suck.

ALICE:

A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.

You can debate whether or not ALICE is “intelligent” for as long as you please, just don't call her stupid. No, seriously, go call her stupid. I dare you.

To diversions ai weblog ... on Wed 07/21/04 at 01:39 AM